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Perseverance and Strength: My Painful Journey by Tyler Jaime

October 26, 2015

 

Tyler has given Difference Makers of Hawaii the opportunity to share his heart through a glimpse of his deepest struggles. It's real, it's raw, and it's powerful.

 

Narrative written by Tyler Jaime

 

My Name is Tyler Jaime I am pretty normal guy. I love to watch sports and I played sports. I serve in youth ministries and I worked a lot. Yes, I said I worked not work and played not play because on May 4, 2014, I developed chronic pain that started in my right ankle that over time spread to rest of my body and changed my life as I knew it.

Previously, before I had it, I was in the best shape of my life. I had good job with good pay had money a decent car and a thankful heart for all that God had gotten me through and had given me. I was the happiest I ever had been in my whole life. But little did I know I was about to enter the most difficult chapter in my life.

 

When I first got the pain I thought nothing of it and that God would heal me. But as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months and as the pain took over most of my body my mind my body and faith broke. After all the failed doctors and specialists appointments failed, after all their scans and blood tests and meds. I gave up. I had to quit my job, I couldn't play sports, I couldn't drive, I stopped reading my bible I stopped going to church.

 

The pain and depression overwhelmed me and overtook me and I was a shell of who I once was. I spent countless days and nights in tears and wanted die so much to the point my Mom had to sleep in my room with me so that I wouldn't take my own life.

I was in a dark place at the rock bottom of my life. I isolated myself from my family and my friends. I stayed in my bed all day every day in mental and physical pain with no hope I had given up on life and on myself I was use to being the strong one the one helped others the one who would fight a war for a friend that I barely knew, but I could barely win a battle for myself. I had so much pain but didn't know how to ask for help and didn't want my friends and family to share or carry my pain with me.

 

At my lowest and in all my brokenness and with whatever little faith that I didn't know I had left. God would come to my rescue. 

 

He sent my best friend, Alika, out of nowhere to come and pray for me and sit by my side and reminded me that I am loved and not alone. He gave me a Mother who wouldn't let the darkness that had entered me take me. She stood in the way held on and fought for me when I wouldn't fight anymore. She prayed for me when I wouldn't I pray for myself. She held me up to God when I wouldn't stand anymore. She held and kept my faith when I let it go. Little by little I got stronger and slowly God started to rebuild me not as I once was, but as the person we made me to truly be.

 

I got help to deal with all my issues and started to work on things in my life I had ignored. My body still works against me and the pain hasn't gone away and no doctor has been able to figure it out what I have. I still battle with depression and anger,  but I don't battle it alone anymore. My friends and my family and my God fight along with me. and I still have a hard time asking for help and letting people know how much I struggle. I am getting better at it. I still struggle with my faith from time to time, but it is STRONGER then it has ever been. You never know you have faith until your in a fight. My God fought for me. I still have many set backs with my health, and have been knocked down and still get knocked down, but I don't stay down any anymore. My God and family and friends won't let me. It’s been over a year now living with pain and it hasn't gotten easier,!but through all the love and support from my God and others I have gotten stronger and still getting stronger even though my body has failed me.

 

If you are struggling with something that life has thrown at you, I want you to know you are NOT ALONE. You can make it and you will make it.

 

Please ask for help don't be ashamed or afraid if reach your hand out for help. Someone will grab hold of you. If its pain or depression or sickness or anything else you have, it does NOT have you. I am not great at speaking, so I wrote this so that my friends and family can understand better what I'm going through.  If anyone is struggling, I hope they might find hope in my painful journey that I continue to walk everyday. I just don't walk it alone anymore.

 

Tyler Jaime

 

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